Monday, April 13, 2009

Can any one explain this behavior?

My wife and I are in the final stages of a divorce in 30 days. I ran into to her friend today and found out my wife has been lying about our interactions. Like before we filed papers we took a vacation in October, she told her friends she went alone. Last month we had lunch after I sent her some flowers for our last anniversary. She told her friend she hadn%26#039;t seen me. I have offered to try at our marriage but she is obviously hiding her hurt feelings and wont let me know if she still cares or not. At least thats what I assume. Why all the lies to her friends about being with me?

Can any one explain this behavior?
she%26#039;s a player who got everybody fooled but you on what the truth is. Get rid of the LIAR..there are too many GOOD women out there
Reply:I think she wants to portray the illusion that she%26#039;s moved ahead with her life. That she is a strong and independent woman to her friends. If she tells that she went on vacation with you and saw you on your last anniversary that shatters the image she%26#039;s trying to have. I don%26#039;t think she%26#039;s a game player. I think she%26#039;s a very confused woman right now She%26#039;s trying to pretend to be something she%26#039;s not in the hopes of acheiving it. I am sorry she%26#039;s not willing to try to save your marriage. Good luck
Reply:not sure, but i would call her on it!
Reply:Separation can be an ugly thing...I am sure she has said enough that she can%26#039;t condone being seen with you in a civil circumstance...so she lies about it. I bet if she hadn%26#039;t said so many evil things about you she wouldn%26#039;t go through with the divorce.
Reply:Most likely her friend knows all the details about you and your wifes marriage. She probably does not want her friend to come down on her for seeing you, so it is easier to lie about it.
Reply:It sounds like it may be too late for trying to improve things, sorry to say. I think you should ask her why all the lies. Just to get peace in your mind. Good luck!
Reply:looks like she still wants you in the picturee, but doesn%26#039;t wanna expose you to the world. Also, i believe that she wants to keep her options open, and if she can%26#039;t find anyone else to replace you, then she will come running back to you. Trust me.
Reply:Okay. There is a reason you two are getting divorced. Before that decision was made, your wife talked to her friends about all the reasons you were horrible and why she wanted to get divorced. When you two have moments of closeness, your wife may feel these feeling for you and she is hiding them from her friends because they probably agreed with her %26quot;crap%26quot; talking about you with them and told her that she would be better off without you, etc., etc. Now she is in a rock and hard place because her friends agreed with her that she doesn%26#039;t like you and she can%26#039;t go back on what she said to them to tell them the truth about your intimate moments together. Call her on it. I did the same thing when my husband and I separated and my friends were very unsupportive when we got back together because of me spilling my guts to them about my problems. I know better now.
Reply:Your wife is trying to assume the reality of the end of your relationship. My question to you would be - why do you care? If you%26#039;re in the final stages of divorce it should not matter what she doesn%26#039;t tell her friends.
Reply:Sounds like she is trying to convince herself that it%26#039;s over, or she really doesn%26#039;t know herself what she wants. If there was so much passion, why are you getting a divorce?
Reply:I think its more out of confusion herself , most people that are headed down the road to divorce dont have lunches together, dont go on vacations together and dont celebrate their anniversary together, its not really the point of getting divorced dont u think, and id imagine that she probably has told people and got a weird response back from them.. like %26quot;ummm if ur doing all this with him, why are u getting a divorce%26quot; to the point that it may embarass her to tell people that u and her are still having a semi relationship, as alot of people feel if ur capable of having that much of a relationship then u shouldnt be getting a divorce in the first place, so she%26#039;s probably gotten alot of back lash for it.. so she has figured its better to just keep that private between u and her..
Reply:That%26#039;s strange. Most women talk to their friends unless, she%26#039;s partners with the friend now or she%26#039;s going with someone that the friend is close to, like a brother or cousin. Maybe she just don%26#039;t want anyone into you all business. I would think about what the friend said and remember the expressions on the friends face when you revealed that you had been with her and sent her flowers. What did the friend say? Go back and talk to the friend and then talk to your wife. Good luck. Oh it sound like she is confused right now. The divorce might be out of hurt and / or shame. It depend on what bought on the divorce. FYI... your divorce is null and void if you all have been together as a couple within the year of separation( check the law in your state ). Meaning if you had sex with your wife and you tell the judge, the divorce won%26#039;t go thru. If nobody lied and cheated and all it was is %26#039;%26#039; allot of passion%26#039;%26#039; then there%26#039;s no reason for the divorce, unless she just want out. Scorpio will forgive you, they tend to be really stubborn. My sister is one and you might want to go ahead with the divorce. SERIOUSLY!!! They will lie allot. So... if you want closure, you should ask her, but leave the friend out of it.



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