On a scale of 1-10, where is sex in marriage?

My husband and I have been married for 9 years. Three years ago he left and had an affair. We were separated for 15 months. We have been back together now for almost 2 years, but things are not right...he has no sex drive. We%26#039;ve been to counseling (were separated again for 4 months last fall) but things are no different. He%26#039;s sweet and kisses me when he comes home...he shows me he loves me in other way like a couple days ago he bought me some flowers...but on our anniversary (this past April) we went to dinner and said maybe 3 sentences the whole time. It was the same last year too...and no sex. The only time we%26#039;ve had sex is at my initiation. If I didn%26#039;t, we could go as many as 3 months without having sex. Right now, it%26#039;s been a month. The kicker is he%26#039;s only 29. I%26#039;m depressed. I am so happy that we cuddle and he says %26quot;I love you%26quot; a lot, but it never goes any farther. So, how important is it? Should I just be happy with that I have? I don%26#039;t know what to do.

On a scale of 1-10, where is sex in marriage?
just tell him you want more from him
Reply:****, FCK HIM ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:There could be 100 reasons why. Maybe he gained some weight or lost some hair. Maybe the guilt of the affair messed his mind up.
Reply:I bet the #1 answer will be that he%26#039;s cheating. People are so freakin%26#039; depressed %26amp; hateful on this forum LOL!
Reply:i feel you girl!! im 23 and my husband is 21. we have been married for 2 years and he never wants to have sex!! he is still young and should have the drive!! i know for a fact he doesnt not cheat on me, he doesnt have the time between work and us having 4 kids. it depresses me also. he tells me that he is just not a sexual person, but it messes with my head. when he doesnt want to have sex i think he thinks im disgusting, or that he doesnt love me anymore, but he swears he does. guys are just idiots sometimes
Reply:Perhaps a visit to your family physician can steer you and him into the right direction?





He may be suffering from hormonal issues - it is not normal for a 29 year old man to have ZERO sex drive.
Reply:He is either still cheating or he is depressed, in my opinion.





I%26#039;ve heard it said that if the sex in a marriage is good, it%26#039;s only 2% of the marriage, but when it%26#039;s bad, it%26#039;s 98%. Make him go to the doctor and get his hormone levels checked. If he%26#039;s normal, get him to go to therapy again (maybe sex therapy).
Reply:He should be willing to have sex anytime you ask. If he has no sex drive and can%26#039;t get it up he needs to use his tongue and fingers to get you off. When my wife isn%26#039;t in the mood she will still blow me or let me lube her @ss for anal.
Reply:sex is important in a relationship. do something to make him attracted to you, turn him on, open his eyes.
Reply:be prepared to be hurt again. if he has no sex drive with you, 9 out of 10 its cause its being satisfied somewhere else. sorry, but thats usually the case. there might be the small chance that it is something other and if it is you have a huge hurdle to get over. do you love him? if you really do, then tell him its important for you to make love. thats how you feel loved and desired. thats reasonable for any woman to expect. if he%26#039;s serious bout you he will be willing to listen. oh, and take ten buck and buy this book %26quot;the five love languages%26quot;. you and your hubby both read it and i think you will both be really surprised. sounds like you are not meeting each others needs is your big problem.
Reply:1
Reply:I give sex a big TEN in importance.





It is the GLUE that holds two people together I think. It is not the structure of a marriage, it is not the basis, but it IS waht makes the two people one. It is the intimacy they share.





Take your example. You are having dinner and he says 3 sentences. No sex, no talking, no marriage. He would say more at a business dinner with a woman he never met before and may never see again and only has a business acquaintance with. How is my wife different when I am with her in the grocery store than any other woman? How is she different in a restaraunt? Why do I run to open a door for her? Why do I leave her love notes and call her from work when I have even a moment to spare. Why is she my favorite person in the world? Why do I not even think of cheating? Sex, that%26#039;s why!





We have never been separated, even for a night. She goes with me on business trips or I won%26#039;t go. How could I sleep at night without her next to me? We talk all the time, hours every day about everything and anything. We never argue. Because of sex and the sex is great because we love each other and want to please each other.





Just my opinion, but it works for us. We rarely miss a day having sex and many times more than once in a day. Go figure, but we have LOTS of sex and we are adhered to each other, inseparable!



Reebok