Why won't my wife have sex with me? Ladies help especially.?

I%26#039;ve been with my wife for 13 years. I helped raise her kids, and supported them until they were stable enough to get on thier own. I work 40+, plus help cook, clean, do laundry...she had a job about the first 4 yrs. then went prt. time. She hasn%26#039;t worked in the past 1 1/2, and gripes about money. Our sex life went from 3-5 x%26#039;s /wk. to 1-2, lasting 1hr. or more. Then she had female problems and had to have stuff removed. They gave her hormones. For the past 5 years I have heard every reason in the book for %26quot;NO%26quot;. I%26#039;ve respected that, but am real tired of it. I have needs too. I even made a special dinner, had wine and candles, flowers, in a chalet for our anniversary and she ate then went to sleep! Last week I found she had a profile on a personals site. What should I try or do. I am ready to walk but hate to throw away 13 years. I also probably wouldn%26#039;t know how to approach a woman in todays dating scene. I need love and guidance.

Why won%26#039;t my wife have sex with me? Ladies help especially.?
You really need to talk to her about it. BE honest and open, tell her exactly what you see is going on and then, If she wants to try to make it work, I would suggest a marriage counselor.
Reply:wild side,


well speaking as a women, ,,, You%26#039;ve just described me and several other of my women friends. Sometimes we just don%26#039;t want or need it. I know you guys do. But we don%26#039;t. We are awful strange individuals.....


Then one day my husband and I had a long talk, we even went to a counselor for a short time. Things got better. We haven%26#039;t had kids at home since 1994....and we are about to purchase our 3rd home this summer....and we both work.......and the last surgery I did have back in 1985,,,, was probably the best thing that ever happened for us.


And now , with no kids at home..... we just enjoy each other when ever and where ever we want too !!! Its fun, its spontaneous, its intermittent....


Be patient, have a sit down heart to heart talk with your wife, let her know your feelings, and lay it out there..... but let her know that its not all about sex. When you%26#039;ve been married 13 years thats a long time, and your right,,,, you probably are not willing to give up on it. I%26#039;m sure you%26#039;ve both shared very special things and events in your 13 years.


Then if that don%26#039;t work for ya, try seeking professional help. Check your local yellow pages for marriage counselors,,, and have a number ready and in your hand before you talk with her.


I feel for ya man, and I do understand.
Reply:Well my friend...your wife is not attracted to you anymore.


You are not a challenge for her anymore, you probably do everything she wants you to do, and at times you may act needy. You may act needy, predictable and you do the same thing as a daily routine....You are acting too much like the girly man.





You need to stir up her emotions and attraction for you.





If you want to stir up her attraction for you again you must do the following:


1. Start dating immediately..Jealousy is a powerful emotion which will draw her attention to you.


2. Start to have hobbies, go out, hang more with your friends. Do not make her the center of your life anymore... at the present time.Enjoy %26amp; live your life.


3. Start to act scarce in her life, stop being so predictable, boring and doing the same monotonous schedule %26amp; activities.


4. Start to be a man...not a wuss and her kiss a_ _ all the time.





If you continue to pursue her, all it will do is to push her further away from you.


I know the above sounds like you will be going in the complete opposite of what you want to do.... But trust me,if you listen and follow the above information...you will draw her level of attraction for you again.
Reply:Perhaps,She have lost confident to herself... After the stuff being removed,I heard it will never gonna be the same again...Even give her plenty of hormones...But,of course she must know her role as a wife to you too.And must think that you have your needs,and can%26#039;t just ignore you and put you aside... You could talk to her and tell her honestly about what you feel and not being happy about it anymore,as It%26#039;s been going on too long....but you must comfort her too,And give her back her confidence again....talk nicely,explain your needs,and ask her what are her reasons why she%26#039;s not wanting it...I%26#039;m sure she will gonna tell you....She may have her reasons,but hard to tell you...Must make her confess,than you can work things out together....just try to be more patient,and see how it goes... After you%26#039;ll have your talk with her...than you decide....it%26#039;s not fair to just walk away from her,without knowing the real truth....
Reply:Hit the gym and start paying more attention to yourself rather than her since it%26#039;s been backfiring on you. Once she sees that your behavior is changing - you%26#039;ll spark her attention. She%26#039;ll start to wonder...why all of a sudden such an interest in the gym? She is just very secure that you%26#039;re there and it%26#039;s easy. If she wants to be intimate (even if you%26#039;re dying to do it), ignore her and tell her that you%26#039;re too tired from your workout. Try it for a month. If she doesn%26#039;t pay attention to this change, then you may want to seek a therapist (even though sometimes their suggestions may not be helpful). The thing about therapists is that you both have to want to go. It can%26#039;t be a one sided thing %26#039;cause you%26#039;d be forcing the other to do something that they just lost all interest in.





Good luck...
Reply:well pardner count your lucky stars... i married a girl who i started to date in Jr. high .. i married her at 26 ... she did not have sex with me on our wedding night .. while all the groomsmen and maids of honor were hooking up that night.. i was forever having to start the action till we had the second child after that nothing... i got so mad that i refused to start the action... after a year of no sex i gave her a dozen roses and told her she was the most nonsexual person i had ever met .. since then nothing... we have been married 33 years... why didn%26#039;t i walk out???? i have seen what break ups do to children.. i could not have that with our children...just for the record ..i always worked ..i gave her my check .. i never hit her ..I%26#039;m not a drunk...am i bitter?? you bet..so ether do as i did and hang in there and stop bitching or get out and find some one who will love you for the person you are and meet your sexual needs... i tried the first path and i advise you to take your on path.... best of luck with a new woman because the wife you have now will not change.....
Reply:you sound like my husband. Since your wife and I are on the same boat I need to clear up a few things - you helped raised %26quot;her%26quot; kids - aren%26#039;t they yours as well? If she had %26quot;female problems and took some stuff out%26quot; how come you don%26#039;t know what it is in particular that she had? Basically I say I%26#039;m in the same boat as your wife because I do have hormonal problems and I lost my libido when they did a total hysterectomy on me. But my husband couldn%26#039;t care less about that and insists its my duty to satisfy him even if I%26#039;m not in the mood for it. Guess where he ended up. You need love and guidance - maybe your wife needs some assurances as well and not only because you need sex. There is such a thing as making love because you love her and not treat her like some sex object you can use when you have a need to satisfy your own needs. Maybe try to study her condition and understand it.
Reply:1.talk to her and find out why she is denying you


2.the website thing is kind of weird and if she is denying at 1st its was normal , she was most likey uncomfortable and had lil self esteem issues but now shes just being mean and the only reason i kno for denying sombody constantly for sex is that she may be seeing another man or women who knows


if all else fail try marrige couseling or swinging
Reply:You%26#039;re going to have to think about all the stuff she repeatedly complained about and address it. If she%26#039;s looking for someone else, it%26#039;s not hormones, she%26#039;s unsatisfied. Confront her about your relationship, not about sex.
Reply:Do you want to get married to me and help me raise my two kids?? ---just playing...but seriously.





sorry you feel this way. Could be a mid-life crisis.





I suggest counseling for the both of you...if you really want it to work.





Maybe she doesn%26#039;t know you feel this way...
Reply:I am sorry. dont get frustrated and take things easy you may be putting to much pressure on her that she can see and may feel your just a horny dog! im not sure though. dont even bring it up or talk about it for like a month and see the reaction!you should love AND BE LOVED!!! good luck. and if you aboslutley needed to you could find love again its not hard in todays world. by personal profile? check it out! its not like a dating site right? good luck again!!!
Reply:truth is she has already left the marriage by posting a pic on a singels site and has probably cheated on u i would move on down the rd
Reply:If it were just medical issues i know it would be hard to justify to yourself that leaving is ok. BUT...if she%26#039;s got an ad on a personals site, sorry man, it ain%26#039;t medical issues. I know all about the 1,000 excuses for not having sex, but when she gives an excuse and posts something on a personals site, you just have to face the fact that for whatever reason she%26#039;s no longer attracted to you. It%26#039;s time to move on and find your own happiness.
Reply:Talk to her about it and explain that u don%26#039;t want to force her but u would like things to go back to normal. My suggest some marriage counselling to her and see if she goes for it. Explain to her that Ur at Ur wits end and feeling like u want to leave and explain how Ur feeling and that u don%26#039;t want to throw away 13 yrs.
Reply:You are the ripe time for these problems to start. Having things removed might have a lot to do with this. Being married for 13 years, some how we get lost. The kids moving out another thing. Now her job for the last 18 years is gone, same thing happened to me. Find something you both enjoy to pull you close again. We bought 2 harleys, go on trips where you just have each other to depend on. A boat maybe,you have to learn each other again. Date her, dont give up yet. What was it about you that caught her the first time?
Reply:Stop being so nice and you will get everything you want. Right now you are just her slave and you get a reward once in a while. Didn%26#039;t you ever wonder why men that treat women like garbage get all the women they want and all the sex they want?



make up