Help with married issues.?

I have been married for 2 years now, and those two years have been pretty rocky, I wish I could say that I treated my wife the way she deserved but I messed up and didnt trust falsely accused I had major trust issues, my wife is very un emotional to me right now and i dont blame her. I sent her flowers for our anniversary and she was upset and did not like the flowers she said they were to exspensive, she also wants to go out to the bar I am not home at the moment I am training for another job. She told me a couple of guys asked her and her sister if they wanted to hang out at the bar my wife said no not on her anniversary but any other day would be ok. I just need advice on saving a marriage I messed up.

Help with married issues.?
Did you sincerely apologize to her about putting her through the wringer? If not, that%26#039;s a good start. You also need to ask her to forgive you for being so mistrustful and show her that you%26#039;ve changed your ways.





If she continues to be distant to you, you should seek marriage counseling. Flowers are a nice but they%26#039;re not going to erase the hurt you put her through.





Don%26#039;t tell her you%26#039;re sorry or that you love her. Show it. Prove it. Then maybe she%26#039;ll come around and see that you are intent on saving your marriage.





Good luck.
Reply:It takes two to get it to this point honey. I%26#039;ll admit you did some foolish things, but the way she%26#039;s handling them isn%26#039;t the greatest either. Sounds to me like the two of you need a meeting of the minds. Suck up your pride, acknowledge your mistakes, find out where you stand and start over if it%26#039;s still salvageable. Emotionally she%26#039;s shut down right now. Although we don%26#039;t like to admit it, women do this to avoid any more hurt. It%26#039;s a defense mechanism. Showing no emotion somehow empowers us....even if it kills us on the inside. You know her better than any of us. Do whatever you can to start tearing down that wall hon. Then work on the communication skils.





oh, and a bit of advice: If you wife makes you happy and you consider her your world, then take on the knowledge that people make the world go around....not money. So while you are striving to make a go at that job, stop to realize that you don%26#039;t have to make millions, you just need to make a living. Some of the happiest people I know have nothing but each other.
Reply:Well, you have a real issue here. First of all, your wife should not be hanging out at any bar...Nothing but trouble is waiting for her there. She is apparently trying to make you jealous, and I am bothered by the comment that any other day than her anniversary would be okay. It%26#039;s not okay! NEVER! Since you messed up, you need to make it right. That means treating her really well. How long? well, as a famous TV psychologist puts it: UNTIL...that means until she forgives you or until you both decide this isn%26#039;t going to improve and call it quits. To be honest with you, a good woman won%26#039;t be found in a bar. You might suggest doing more with her, like taking her to a nice restaurant, the movies, fixing what you haven%26#039;t fixed around the house, taking her on a week end get away( nothing fancy, but outside of your usual haunts), and try to go back to treating her the way you did before marriage...


If you feel your marriage is really going nowhere fast, you need to get marital counseling.


My gut instinct tells me you are in for a rough ride. If she is worth it, hang on tight...
Reply:Sounds like it is both of you messing up not just you. It will take you both to get this mess worked out. So I suggest councelling. If she doesnt put forth effort there is nothing you can do. It is a marrage a couple not just one person.
Reply:at least you know you messed up the only thing i can say is that keep doing what your doing theres nothing more you can do sorry
Reply:You need to be there for her emotionally! Women are emotional so that is where she needs to heal at. P.S. buying her stuff is nice but probibly not what she needs.



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